Love Gives Me Hope

I'm back!!!

So...it's been FOREVER and a day since I've last made a blog entry. A lot has been happening in life, and it was just too much for me to update, I guess. ><;

Hmm...what's new?

COLLEGE. I am currently a student at NC State University. I am loving college right now. It's good to be able to just start all over with a clean slate. I am also a member of a hip-hop/cultural dance crew at NCSU called Fusion. It's also the best dance crew on campus. ~_^ I'm starting to become accustomed to the college life. I haven't really been partying, but I think my current college life is still fun. ^_^

NEW HOME. I'm actually staying at a place right outside of campus. Campus is literally across the street. Haha! I love it here though. The food and rooms are a lot better than what's offered on campus. We have our own dining hall, swimming pool, pool tables, a lot of vending machines, laundry room, fitness room, house-keeping, etc. There are four operating elevators too. My friend jokes that I stay in a hotel. He insists on calling this place "Holiday Inn." XD But yeah, my side of the room has been pretty empty...well...the walls, at least. I've finally brought some posters from home to put up. My sister even randomly dug up a SUPER OLD poster of Rain (비). I bought that poster AGES ago; I completely forgot it existed. O__o

ROOMMATE. I really like my roommate. Her name is Amie. :) She's really nice, and we have a lot of things in common. One of the most important things: we're both kids at heart. I'm so glad about that because I was afraid my roommate would be like "WTF?" if I ever suggested for us to watch a Disney movie or something. ^^;

FUSION. Dance has pretty much taken over my life recently. I've been spending a lot of time practicing dances for Fusion. I love the Fusion fam already. Everyone is really friendly and approachable. I love how the crew really does have a family vibe, and the entire group is so talented. I'm super excited that I made the team. Fusion Love; Fusion for Life. ♡

SINGING. Actually, I haven't done much singing since I got to college. It's hard to sing when you have a roommate and you're living in a dorm. I've decided not to audition for the choir. I don't really think it's my style, and the reason I was in choir from 5th through 12th grade was because that was the only way I was able to sing in school everyday. I love to sing, and that was pretty much the only chance for me to perform. I think I have finally found a place to sing and record videos: our music center. There are little rooms for people to practice in. I think I'll just bring my Mac in there one day and just record videos. I miss singing, so that should be fun. ^_^

BANANA GRAMS! I am obsessed with this game, and I'm not afraid to admit it. If you've never played it, you need to. It's kind of like Scrabble, except it's much better. Haha! ^o^ This game is so intense. I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!! Hehe~

LADY GAGA. JUSTIN BIEBER. Two concerts that are waiting for me. :) I can't wait.

LUDACRIS. Luda is coming to perform at NC State. All NCSU students were able to get a ticket for free. I love Luda. This is going to be amazing. I saw him back in February when he opened for the Black Eyed Peas, and it was so EPIC. I'm really looking forward to this. It's going to be siiiiick.

YOUTUBE. I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos lately. That makes me sound like I have no life. T^T But I can't help it if there are some YouTubers that I really like. ><; I really like RayWilliamJohnson, glozell1, MichellePhan (of course!), and jayparkaom (another given). One of my all-time favorites, however, is DEFINITELY ItsKingsleyBitch. This guy is probably my favorite person on YouTube. He's hilarious. XD

LOVE. If you've read other posts of my blog, it's possible that you may be wondering about a certain someone whose name begins with the letter J and ends with ason. There's really not much to update though. Everything is always like a roller-coaster with this kid. Touchy subject. Complicated situation. Never-ending story.

LOVE GIVES ME HOPE. I came across this AMAZING website today called Love Gives Me Hope. It's a collection of cute/sweet things that have happened to people. I found a lot of the posts very touching. As a matter of fact (I'm going to sound like a big softie), I was sitting here reading them, and I couldn't help but cry. I guess I was overwhelmed by all the...love. It's good to know that even in this superficial world that we live in today...true love still exists and is acknowledged and appreciated. This website is absolutely correct: "Love gives me hope."


♫ Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars

GLEE

As I am typing this blog, I am uploading my videos for my audition for the TV show Glee. I don't really know how I stand with the competition, but I figured it wouldn't hurt. Plus, I knew that my friend would be very angry at me if I didn't...so I just recorded a video. Haha! But the thing is...this is taking FOREVER AND A DAY!!! OH MY GOD!!! >_<; I'm just uploading my statement video! Who knows how long the video where I actually sing is going to take?! O_o I may not be sleeping tonight...

Actually, I wasn't planning on sleeping in the first place...>_<; I have a six weeks test/exam for AP Biology tomorrow. I really need to study!!! I am going to be reading my AP Biology book and study guide like there is no tomorrow tonight! I need to get some food, so I can eat at the same time to keep myself awake. Hopefully, that will work. ^_^; I can't deny that that is my favorite class though. I must sound like such a nerd, but I can't help it! I used to despise biology, which makes the whole thing just extremely ironic. =S

Hmm...life lately has been...quite confusing.

It's been a month since the opening night of our musical (Beauty and the Beast). I miss it so much!!! T_T I miss wearing my Belle costumes...

Jason and I are...I don't even really know what's going on, honestly. We were pretty much a couple for a week. Well, it wasn't official, but we acted just like a couple. I guess it just really bothers me that he hasn't really done anything to try and "win me over" since he already knows how I feel about him. Right now, we're just friends, but it's hard. It's really hard to know that the two of you like each other but aren't together for whatever reason. I don't know what will become of us, but only time will tell.

EXCITING NEWS!

There are two things that I'm really excited about:

-We're singing the Glee version "Don't Stop Believing" in choir!
and
-My concert is going to be on May 21st!!!

All three of our choirs are going to be doing a gigantic "full cast" number of "Don't Stop Believing!" That is one of my FAVORITE songs on Earth! ^_^ I auditioned for a solo, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna get it. Oh well, it doesn't really matter. I just love the song!

Next thing: I finally have a set date for my concert! May 21st is the magic date! I can't wait!!! Right now, I am in the process of so much planning! I took some pictures today for the posters. I'm going to have some people in my first period photoshop them tomorrow and actually design the poster. I will be taking more pictures throughout the week, and by the end of the week, I will have chosen all the poster designs that I want and have them printed. ^_^ Also, I've assembled a little glee club at my school that will be performing at my concert. I have very high hopes for this concert. Hopefully, everything will run as smoothly as possible.

Here's a few of the pictures that I really liked:






♫ Don't Rain on my Parade - Barbra Streisand

Call It a Splurge...

I bought this SUPER adorable Hello Kitty flash drive! It was like thirty something dollars, but it has a memory of 4GB. Plus, it'll come in handy. ^_^ Call it a splurge, but at least I ordered something that is school related. Haha! XD

Does anyone watch The Office? I love that show! It's so hilarious! I've been watching it A LOT lately. I love all the characters. Plus, Pam and Jim are so adorable. ^^

I've realized that I suck at replying letters. My friend that lives in VA Beach and I have decided that we want to write letters to each other. I always take forever to reply. T_T As a result, I end up having really long letters. Haha!

Random: "H.A.T.E.U." by Mariah Carey is a very good song. I'm listening to it right now. =P

Hmm...I really wanna change up my blog...but I don't know how. Help? I guess I could just go and Google it or something. Haha!

Alice in Wonderland comes out on Friday!!! I'm really excited! It looks awesome, and it's gonna be in 3D too! ^_^ I can't wait to go see it. Jason can't go this weekend...so I think I'm just gonna wait until he can go. I don't really want to go see it with anyone else, and if I have to, I'll watch it again with Jason. ^^ I must admit...the movie does look kinda freaky though, but I still wanna watch it SO badly!

So...lately, I've been looking at www.foodnetwork.com a lot. It really makes me want to cook again! I guess I'm gonna end up going through my cooking phase again. Hehe! Maybe that means I'll have pictures to put on here of the food I make! The lighting in my house it HORRIBLE...but it's all good. I'll still take the pictures lol! XD

I love Tuesdays and Thursdays. We have long second periods, and do you know what that means?! Two hours of my online class! Yay!!! ^_^v

Man, this is a really random blog...again. >.< But hey! A lot of blogs are pretty random anyway...^^;

♫ Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey

The Ugly Truth

So...how's life everyone? ^_^

I've been really tired lately, but there's one person who can make everything better...even without trying. That's Jason. <3 Man, sometimes I really wonder why in the world I love this kid so much. We went out to eat on Saturday, and I think it was the second time he's ever paid for my food. That kind of made me smile on the inside. ^_^ He always brightens my day, and he makes me do things that I've never done before. For instance, I've never texted during musical rehearsal...until I texted him. That was only once though. I'm very dedicated. ^_^v Also, I've never texted in chorus either...until I texted him. Those are just some examples...pretty dumb examples but examples, nonetheless. Once again, I'm going to stop with the pathetic and sappy love talk.


Well, the title of this post is The Ugly Truth. I just finished watching that movie for the first time. I actually really liked it! ^^ It was pretty funny. I'd definitely recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen it. Some of the stuff that he says is very true, I must say. Gerard Butler is so hot. I love him in movies. He's actually in one of my FAVORITE movies, P.S. I Love You. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie. I'd also recommend that movie to anyone who hasn't seen it yet. ^_^

Sorry, this was a pretty pointless post. =P

Have an awesome day, everyone!

♫ Oh! (오) - 소녀시대 (Girls' Generation/SNSD)

OMG

I'm sorry! It's been FOREVER since I've updated my blog! T_T I've been really busy and so much has been happening...it's been so crazy! Once again, drama with Jason and Jeffrey...but I think things will get better.

Hmm...let me just give you a brief outline of what's happened in the few months I've been absent from my blog...

-I saw Black Eyed Peas in concert!!! Ludacris was there too! Then spent the next day in Raleigh and just had adventures throughout the day. It was so awesome that everything was so spontaneous. ^_^
-Opening night for the musical is coming up soon! It's March 25, 26, and 27. It sounds like it's really far away, but it's gonna be here before we know it! I'm not sure if I've shared this already, but we're doing Beauty and the Beast this year. I play Belle! ^_^v
-We have an informal concert for choir next week, and festival is on March 12.
-Still getting ready for my benefit solo concert
-Jason <3

Other than that, I can't really think of anything else special that has happened. My life is so boring. T_T

Black Eyed Peas Concert

Anyway, BLACK EYED PEAS! OMG! That concert was absolutely AMAZING!!! LMFAO and Ludacris opened the show for them. Ludacris definitely got the crowd going. There were three negative things about the concert though:
1. Some girl was escorted out by the police. I guess she had too much to drink or something. They put her in handcuffs and put a bag over her head. Then they strapped her down on a stretcher. It was so weird...
2. These girls next to us kept moving back and forth like every ten minutes or so to go get drinks. It was SO annoying! I mean, I don't know about them...but I paid to go watch a concert, and they were getting in my way. I was getting pretty angry.
3. Some people sitting in the upper level decided to pour their beer on us! What really got me upset was when I turned around and I saw that my posters were soaked. A manager at the RBC center got me replacements though, so I guess it's okay now...but that still kind of ruined my night for a while.

I got over all that really soon though. It was so fun! Everyone was so energized and just into the music. My favorite parts were:
-Performance of "Where is the Love?"
-Performance of "I Got a Feeling"
-Will.I.Am's DJ portion (that was SOOOOOOOOOO good OMG)
-Performance of "Pump It"
-Taboo and his motorcycle was pretty awesome ^_^
-Ludacris

Those were some of my favorite parts, but the whole thing was just awesome!

That night, we stayed in this awesome hotel. It's called Hotel Sierra. It was absolutely amazing! I'll post pictures later of the concert, hotel, and our adventures.

Adventures:
-We found an ampitheatre
-Gyros
-Nature trail

Musical

We're having night rehearsals now, so our rehearsal is pretty much from Monday to Thursday, every night from 5 to 8. I love musical rehearsal. ^_^ I'm so sad this year though because it's going to be my last year/musical. Oh yeah, Jason and Jeffrey are in pit band, and I'm really happy that they're actually talking to me. I've waited so long for all three of us to be involved in the musical production at the same time. The first few rehearsals with pit were horrible though. They didn't even look at me. Things are better now though...^_^

Informal Concert and Festival

We're having an informal concert for choir next Tuesday. It's going to be so bad. Our choir is only singing the pieces that we're taking to festival. I feel like we're so unprepared. I guess people just don't realize exactly how close festival is. I really hope that we do well, but from the looks of it right now, how we'll do is really questionable.

Solo Benefit Concert

I've finished learning the dance to BoA's "Energetic" and now I'm starting on learning "Eien/Forever (永遠)". The dancing is really fun but challenging at the same time. I must say, I'm quite proud of myself for my progress since I've never had any prior training in dance. ^^;

I've finally gotten the date! It's going to be on May 8th! Now I REALLY have to start working like crazy. I really need some ideas for fundraising though. Anyone have any ideas? I thought about selling candy. People always suggest car washes, but I don't know how successful that will be in this weather. >_< Please let me know if you have any cool ideas or suggestions! ^_^

Last but never least...

Jason

Sometimes it scares me how much power this boy has over me. I'm not quite sure what it is, but he has such a great effect on me. We're finally talking again and on a regular basis, so that's really good. ^_^ We're supposed to go have lunch on Saturday. I'm pretty happy about that. Sometimes I feel like my heart can fly when he's there. *sigh* I should stop now before I start sounding completely pathetic and sappy. >_<

Once again, I'm so sorry that I haven't been updating in so long, but I will try my best to update more regularly! ^^;

♫ I Got a Feeling - Black Eyed Peas

Home from the concert!~10.26.09

I just got home from the concert band/jazz band concert. It was pretty good. I really liked this piece that concert band performed. It was called "Disney at the Movie." As for jazz band, I always enjoy everything they play. ^_^ I wanted to go and support Jeffrey, since I've only been to one band concert. He only said one word to me though: "Hey." I mean, I can't really complain because that's still better than what I had expected and was preparing for. I didn't think he was going to say anything to me; I didn't even think that he was really going to notice that I was there. I guess it's good that he acknowledged my existence. I told him "good job," and he just laughed...I can't decide whether it was because he didn't think they did a very good job, or if he thought I was being sarcastic. I truly believe that he knows I went for him though...whether he's in denial or not. I believe that; he's not that stupid.

Something hit me today. I can't get myself to focus on anything. My mind is so full with...stuff. I'm not myself; there's definitely something wrong with me. Take the spring musical for example. Anyone that knows me knows that I am really dedicated to our spring musical. I've been doing musicals every year since the 6th grade, and I've gotten a good number of lead roles. The sad thing is that we got our audition script and music about two weeks ago, and I just managed to make myself pick it up and look at it for the first time TODAY. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like there's so much on my mind. I can't think straight. Normally, I would've had the audition piece and everything memorized from top to bottom, left to right, front to back. I would've watched the movie already and looked up the character analysis, but I've done nothing this year. I get sad every single time we sing "Music of My Heart" in Chamber Choir because it reminds me of Jeffrey. My friend Sara was talking about how every time we sang that song, she would picture her boyfriend busting through the door and tell her everything will be okay. (She and her boyfriend were going through some rough times.) When she said that, it made me realize how much I wanted that. I want Jeffrey to just come and tell me that everything will be okay. I really do. I nearly cried when we were singing that song today. I couldn't even sing all the words because I would start choking up. It was bad. Now I just randomly tear up because the thought of him telling me everything will be okay will just come to my mind whenever they please. It must sound really pathetic. >.<

Oh yeah, I drew pictures on the foggy windows of Jason's car today. I was bored, and he was doing homework. He was going to go to Books-A-Million (BAM), but we ended up just sitting in his car in the parking lot. -_-;







"Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks is one of Jason's new favorite songs, but he doesn't like to admit it.

My favorite by far...

♫ Music of My Heart - NSYNC feat. Gloria Estefan

Spirit Week~10.25.09

This past week was spirit week at school. It was pretty fun. ^_^ Here's a picture of Jason and me on Tacky Twin Day. LOL XD



My favorite days HAVE to be Class Color Day and Green and Gold Day though because seniors get to wear our crowns!!! I'll have to take better pictures of my crown and shirts and post them up another day. They're washing right now. ^^; On Class Color Day, the colors are: Seniors - Blue, Juniors - Red, Sophomores - Black, Freshmen - Gray. Green and Gold Day is pretty self-explanatory. Green and gold are our school colors. :)

Who knows what Cheyenne and Sarah were doing...

...so we tried again. =P

Me and my favorite guard girl, Cierra!!! Even though it may not look like it, we weren't ready when Sam took this picture. XD

So we tried again too!!!

Sam and Me

Sam, Me, and Cierra

Sarah and Me

Seniors in Chamber Choir...we're a small group this year.

English Class

Michael and Me

Jason and Jeffrey in the three-legged race during field day

Jason getting owned XD

Green and Gold Day ^_^

Cierra

Keddrick and Me

Seniors on Green and Gold Day

Chamber Choir on Green and Gold Day

My co-worker and I went out to lunch today! ^_^ Afterwards, we went to the pet store and played with the cutest puppy ever!!! Then we went to the mall and he bought me something for my birthday since it's coming up soon (November 2nd!). He bought me Prada perfume for $100. I felt so bad! I told him not to, but he wouldn't listen. T_T I've never even smelled the scent before, so I have no clue what it smells like.

The Prada Perfume

PUPPY!!!











It was teething...^^;

♫ the Love Bug - m-flo ♥ BoA

6:52?!?!?! OH NO!!!!!!!!!~10.13.09

I overslept badly this morning. >.< It was HORRIBLE. I'm a really deep sleeper, and it's even worse when I'm in the middle of a vivid dream. I woke up at 6:52AM this morning (YES...6:52AM), and the late bell rings at 7:15AM. Thankfully, I made it on time though. Man, I felt like such a beast. XD

I still don't really know what to sing for my performance on November 8th. I thought about singing "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going." I sang that at our school's talent show my sophomore year. I ended up winning first place with that song. I haven't sang it in forever though. If I'm going to sing it, I'll need to practice...and practice...and practice some more. Hehe! ^^;

So apparently, we're taking our senior class group photo tomorrow. Thank goodness someone told me. I was about to go to school in sweats again like I've been doing since the third day of school. -_- I don't feel like for changing every day for fourth period (marching band), so I just go to school in work-out clothes. =P There's not really anyone that I need to impress at school anyways, so it's all good. I'll start wearing normal clothes again next month when we no longer have to practice the show everyday.

Also, I wrote a note to Jeffrey early last week...I finally gave it to him yesterday. I hate writing letters, but I'm just not brave enough to say some things face-to-face. I'm not sure how he took it...but we'll see. I miss him.





♫ Party in the USA - Miley Cyrus

I MADE IT!!!~10.12.09

So...do you remember how I was talking about my audition? I MADE IT!!! I'm one of the 36 contestants for the teen vocalist competition! You can check it out at www.ripthehallways.com ^_^v I'm really excited! I get to perform in an actual coliseum!!! It's going to be a dream come true.

Also, my principal approved my solo benefit concert. It's going to be happening some time next year...probably in April.

Jason and I are talking again. Things with Jeffrey, on the other hand, haven't changed. I actually found out that he still likes this girl that he's liked for years who will never give him the time of day. It really hurts me to know that because he deserves so much more than what she has to offer. He could do a lot better. He deserves a lot better. On a brighter note, he actually gave me a real hug for the first time in forever when I told him that I'm a contestant on Friday night. It may not sound like a lot, but it made me really happy.

I was looking on Strapya the other day, and I found these really cute cell phone decorations. I'm so tempted to buy some, but I think I'll wait until next month. It'll be my little birthday present to myself, I guess. Hehe! ^^;

Well, it's been a while...I think it's finally time for some PICTURES!!! Get ready for picture overload! XD



Me & Kris


My Hero <3


My new coat from Express ^_^


Me & Jason at the concert

♫ Now That She's Gone - JJ Lin